Most of us have a tendency to focus on the things about ourselves and our lives that we would like to change. Those with "dysfunctional perfectionism" as I have been told I have, tend to discount the positives and focus only on the negatives thereby considering anything short of perfect as a failure. It's a difficult habit to overcome but one which is so incredibly self-destructive. I also tend to catastrophize, or in other words, assume the worst case scenario. Not much optimism here given my natural worrying tendencies (I come by it honestly as my mother is the same in this way). But my recent training in CBT has taught me to reign-in my worries before they spiral out of control. No reason to assume the worst unless there is evidence to support this assumption, right?
So assessing life right now from this vantage point, things are pretty good. I have my allergies and sinus headaches under control with my frequent nasal/sinus saline rinses and have managed not to touch a single pain killer in 2 weeks. My butt is feeling better and the physiotherapist confirmed that my pelvic alignment is much improved. In fact, this week she sent me to an athletic therapist to give me some serious strengthening exercise and stretches. She was so impressed with my form and technique that we were done the 30 minute session in 10 minutes and she said she didn't need to see me again unless I had questions. Unfortunately, between these exercises and the rehab exercises from the physiotherapist, I have like 20+ minutes a day of exerices to do. The core exercises the athletic therapist gave me are kick-ass! I'll post a few as my exercises of the week.
Little A's daycare made me come early Monday and pick her up saying she was sick. Huh? She was perfectly fine when I got there but the policy is still that I couldn't send her back yesterday. So my mother-in-law, bless her, took her for the morning and I had her for the afternoon. SHE WAS PERFECT, there was nothing sick about her (except the cough she has, which EVERY kid has right now, which she has had for 3 weeks now!). We had fun playing together until it was time to go to Big A's school for the fundraiser/holiday party. We had a blast. It was craziness with all the kids, but there was food, prizes and musical entertainment. The best part was seeing the girls together. They were both having so much fun and when Big A went to sit with her friends for the show, Little A ran over and wanted to be with her. Big A happily took her little sister on her lap and they cuddled while watching the performers. It was absolutely precious. Unfortunately, we got home late and that's when it all fell apart. The girls started fighting and didn't want to take their bath and we basically had two wired, over-tired kids screaming...and Adam and I were thoroughly worn out at that point ourselves. Oh well, when I ran into other parents this morning, they reported that it was the same scenario at their house so I suppose it was to be expected.
So far I have been contacted by one woman about my miscarriage/infertility support group. Since two people don't really make a "group" I have offered to meet with her on my own or given her the option of waiting until others express interest. At least this is a start.
My biggest concern right now is that I haven't heard back from J.S. at Women's College Hospital since our wonderful meeting a few weeks ago. She did warn me she gets busy, but it's been a while since I sent her a few emails with no response. Of course my head has been spinning all sorts of explanations for the silence: she changed her mind about wanting to work with me; she talked to S.D., who teaches the certificate program I'm doing and found out that I've also asked to work with her (I gotta cover my bases AND I'd be happy to work with BOTH of them if I have the chance), she mentioned me to someone at the hospital and was told there is no possibility she can get permission to bring me on, etc, etc.
At a party last weekend, I ran into a woman I know who is a counsellor and knows J.S. She said she often gets busy AND goes to NY a lot to visit her mother who is unwell, and very difficult, so she thought she might be away. This has given me a bit more hope and helped keep my paranoia from escalating. Remember the worry tree, remember the worry tree! One of the many useful tools used in CBT:
Exercises of the Week: For a Rock Solid Core!!
Prone Ball Walk with Hip Abduction/Adduction
Use hands to walk forward on the ground while lying on top of stability ball until ball rests under thighs. Extend one leg out to the side and alternate legs until you complete 2 sets of 10-15 repetitions on both sides. For progression (to make harder), walk further forward over ball so your toes come off the ground.
Prone Ball Walk to Skier Position
With stomach on ball, walk forward until ball rests under your shins. Supporting weight on your hands, roll ball forward slightly, and side to side by pulling with knees to target obliques. Do 2 sets of 10-15 repetitions.
Kneeling Ball Walk to Toes
Roll forward over ball so toes are resting on ball, hands are on the ground and you are in a pike position. Bring yourself down to a plank position (flat back, in line with your hips) and then use your abs to draw back up into pike. Do at least 2 sets of 10-15 repetitions.