March Break Madness!

Are you heading somewhere beautiful for March Break?  If so, you suck!  Just kidding.  At least its supposed to be warming up a wee bit around here for the next few days, so I can't complain too much about going nowhere for the break.  Besides, my kids have daycare all week, so its not like I have to stay home from work and entertain them, like some people do.  If that's the case for you, check out some of these activity ideas for keeping your kids busy from Cityline.

Adam is going on a business trip next week, so I am actually very happy its March Break, because at least I don't have to worry about getting the kids to school on time in the mornings.  The mornings are still a challenge.  But this week I challenged myself to trying to stay calm no matter what goes down and I am happy to say I did well...or at least better.  Its required a lot of positive self-talk and ignoring what's going on with the girls. 

I feel like such a horrible parent a lot of the time because I'm always snapping at them.  Having grown up with impatient, Type A parents, I vowed to be a fun, laid-back parent, but, um, that's just not the case.  That being said, I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day, whose kids go to the girls' school and daycare and she said to me, "When I see you arriving at the school in the morning with Little A screaming, I feel like such a horrible parent because you are so cool and calm and in control, and I've usually just finished yelling at my kids."  I had to explain to her that usually my cool, calm demeanor is only because I have no voice left from screaming at them before we arrived at the school.  My point being, that how things appear in public rarely reflect what's going on in private.  This is an issue that comes up with my clients at work all the time.  People assume that others' lives are so much more perfect than our own, but the reality is, most of us face the same struggles and stresses and nobody's life is perfect.

So have a lovely weekend and if it doesn't go exactly as planned...try to roll with it.  That's what life is all about!

Ketchup With the Latest Products from President's Choice

I am so beyond excited that Loblaws seems to have gotten on board with the whole stevia thing!

While the world has been obsessing with the amount of sodium we eat, we seem to have overlooked all the sugar we consume.  The latest research suggests that all this added sugar is just as bad, and very possibly worse for us, than the sodium.  Sugar is linked with not only diabetes and obesity, but also cancer and Alzheimer's disease.  Time to get it out of our diets!

Sugar is added to everything these days from bread and cereal to spaghetti sauce, salad dressing and mayo.  It makes me cringe frankly.  I try to do anything and everything I can do to cut down on the sugar we eat in this house.  Unfortunately, I think my kids still get way too much when they are out of the house. 

Although full of lycopene, ketchup is a huge source of sugar.  It's also a favorite among all of us.  It was actually one of the foods I craved like crazy during both my pregnancies, so I guess it should be no surprise that the girls both adore it too.  Therefore, I am thrilled that Loblaws just came out with a stevia sweetened (and sugar-free!) ketchup as part of its Blue Menu line.  Yehaa!!

I am eager to see what other products they are coming out with using stevia as the sweetener...

Chickpea Tacos

I generally eat a hot lunch everyday.  Adam makes fun of me, because while he ALWAYS eats a couple of sandwiches, apples and carrots for lunch at work, I concoct elaborate noodle dishes, stir fries, or platters of roasted fish, sweet potatoes and steamed veggies for myself.  Sorry, a cold sandwich - particularly in this weather - just doesn't cut it for me.

This meal turned out very warm and comforting and just what I needed this week.  The picture gives you an idea of just how big my lunch usually is (I had a massive bowl of cole slaw on the side of those 2 tacos).  Yes yes, I know, it's unbelievable that someone as little as me eats so much.  I hear that all the time.  It's gotta be the weight lifting.  Although, considering that Little A ate more than her body weight in oatmeal this morning, maybe its a genetic thing.

This whole recipe was devoured by moi over 2 lunches, but I'm guessing most people with puny normal appetites could stretch this to 3 or 4 meals.  Admittedly, I heaped on so much that my tacos fell apart.  I definitely needed a bib.  For the daintier folks, you could probably get 8 tacos out of this...compared to my 4 massive ones.  So either a few lunches or dinners for yourself, or enough to share with your loved ones.


Chickpea Tacos

1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed (or 1.5 cups cooked)
1 red onion, diced
4 roma tomatoes, diced
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp mild or spicy chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup of your favorite salsa
1 can tomato paste
1 ripe avocado, diced

Corn tacos (soft or crunchy) or whole grain tortillas or pita.

Saute everything together except chickpeas, tomato paste and avocado, until onion and tomatoes have cooked down and are tender.  Add remaining ingredients and simmer over low heat for 10 minutes.  Spoon desired amount onto tacos or tortillas.  Keep leftovers refrigerated for up to 4 days or freeze.

I have shared this recipe with Gluten-Free Friday and Wellness Weekend Link-ups for this week.

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Lunchbox Cookies (Vegan, Sugar-Free & Gluten-Free)

Oh She Glows featured a recipe for double chocolate cookies last week. I instantly knew, with a few tweaks, it was going to make the perfect cookie to pack in the girls' lunches this week.  It's nut-free, which means its safe to take, and chocolate, which means bliss for them (and for Adam, who we told was not allowed to eat these...).  It was a cinch to modify them and make them sugar-free...which makes me happy.

I'm guessing my finished product has quite a different consistency than the original recipe since Angela's spread more than mine did.  I don't know if that's because she used sugar, or because I beat the batter by hand, rather than using an electric mixer.  Either way, these turned out great.  I also made small, rather than big cookies for the girls, so I ended up with 2 dozen, instead of 1 like in the original recipe.

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Lunchbox Cookies (Vegan, Sugar-Free & Gluten-Free) Adapted from this recipe

Wet ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon ground flax mixed with 3 tablespoons water
• 1/4 cup virgin coconut oil (do not melt)
• 1/4 cup sunflower seed butter
• 1 cup granulated stevia or 1/2 cup powdered stevia
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Dry Ingredients:

• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
• 3 tablespoons cocoa powder
• 1.5 cups gluten-free rolled oats, processed into flour (or 1.5 cups oat flour)
• 1-2 teaspoons non-dairy milk (only if needed to moisten batter)
• 1 cup sugar-free chocolate chips (I used these)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350F and line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. In a large mixing bowl, mix together the flax and water and set aside for a few minutes so it can thicken up. Whisk the flax egg again once thickened.
2. Add the rest of the wet ingredients into the bowl with the flax egg (coconut oil, sunflower seed butter, stevia, and vanilla). With a hand-held electric mixer, beat the ingredients until combined and smooth.
3. Now, beat in the dry ingredients, one by one, as you go down the ingredient list (baking soda, baking powder, salt, cocoa powder, oat flour). If your dough is a bit dry, add a teaspoon (or two) of non-dairy milk and beat the mixture again. The dough should be moist enough to form balls without cracking, but not super sticky.
4. Stir in chocolate chips.
5. Shape into small balls and place on the baking sheet. Gently press down on each ball with your hand to form a disc.
6. Bake for about 10 minutes.
7. Cool cookies on the baking sheet for 7 minutes or so and then transfer to a cooling rack for another 10-15 minutes.

Makes 2 dozen small cookies.

Ultimate Booty Workouts: Book Review

Well good morning on this bloody cold March Monday.  How was your weekend?  Ours was nice and quiet aside from some sledding, swimming (indoors!), a birthday party and errands.  I didn't even have to work Saturday.  Word on the street is that this may be the last week of freezing cold temps.  Thank goodness, because like every other North American, I'm freakin' sick of this, and ready to enjoy a few days of spring before we move right into the blazing hot summer (which I'll complain about just as bitterly).

Now onto discussing butts.

Since I now do almost all my workouts at home, I love getting new ideas for how to change things up.  So I was thrilled to receive a review copy of Ultimate Booty Workouts.

The author, Tamara Grand, is a PhD, a certified personal trainer, a mom and a Canadian with her very own blog!  Ha, turns out we have a lot in common!  Of course, her blog is a whole lot prettier than mine.  Unfortunately for me, she lives across the country in beautiful British Columbia where she is lucky enough to be enjoying far more moderate temps this winter.

Part I of the book provides background on the musculature of the lower body and the benefits of strength training for women.  I strongly believe that women should strength train and it irks me that so many women are afraid to, so I am very glad she included this part.  This section also includes a brief overview of proper nutrition for strength training, some general nutrition guide lines and 2 recipes for wholesome, homemade protein bars.  Her recommendations are sensible and evidence based and do not subscribe to any trendy diets.  So I love that.

Part II of the book explains how to use the book to create your training program.  Grand describes the equipment required, suggests how to integrate the workout into your existing routine, and recommends a basic guide for progression of your workouts.  This section also explains how to measure progress and discusses the importance of rest and recovery.  Grand also includes definitions for key terminology and tips for getting the most out of your workout.

Next, Grand lays out the phases for strength training progression:

1. Setting the foundation
2. Building muscle
3. Leaning and cutting

For each phase, she offers at least one sample program with exercises, and suggested number of reps, sets and rest.  Altogether, it is a 12 week program.  Once you have completed it, she gives several options for what to do next to continue to make progress.

Part 3 provides photos and descriptions of how to execute each exercise.  Now, I didn't learn anything new in this section, all the exercises are already familiar to me, but then again, I have been training for a very long time.  For most people who have not, many of these will be new to you, or at least some of the variations on the basics (squat, lunge, etc.) will be new. 

Following the strength exercises, Grand includes a section with Tabata (HIIT) movements (plyometrics, burpees, etc.).

Part 4 is dedicated entirely to warming up and cooling down.  Grand explains why they are important components of a workout, and gives you exercises and stretches. 

Finally, the appendix at the back has some logs for you to record your workouts.

Overall, it is a very sound book that is perfect for someone wanting to focus on lower body strength training and conditioning on their own (without the help of a personal trainer).  The program can be done at home or in a gym, which makes it very versatile.

To be honest, my only concern is that - unlike myself - most of the world looks to 'apps' for everything now.  Personally, I still prefer books.  So I wonder whether this book will get a lot of attention or if most people will just go online to get this kind of thing.  If you are old school, like myself, and keen to learn more about strength training for your lower half, this is a very good option.

The Cold Hard Truth About Immune Boosters

I hate colds.  They really suck.  Adam is vulnerable to coughs when he gets a cold, but me, I always produce enough mucus to gum up Niagara Falls.  Breathing becomes a chore and I usually end up with a very sore nose from blowing it so much.  Blech!

 Honestly, I would rather get a gastro bug than a cold.  Why?  Because if you are barfing, you have no choice but to stay home in bed, and generally those types of illnesses are very brief.  A cold, however, can last weeks, and although they usually make you feel completely miserable, they aren't serious enough to justify staying in bed for their duration.  Consequently, you have to continue on with your day-to-day responsibilities even though you aren't 100%.  Also, most of us are hit with many more colds than we are most other types of minor infections...especially when you are a parent to little germ-bags!

These days, there are a bajillion health products on the market that claim to prevent or treat the common cold.  Are any of them actually affective, or are they just a waste of money?

According to the Centre for Science in the Public Interest, most vitamins do not offer any help in this area.  There is some evidence that having sufficient vitamin D levels in your blood improves immunity, and taking vitamin C BEFORE you get a cold can lessen the duration of the cold (by about 12 hours), though it won't decrease your chance of catching one.

Zinc doesn't prevent colds either, however, there is some evidence it can also decrease the duration of them.

There isn't much evidence to support Echinacea or other herbs either.  I have to say, I have never found any of these products (oregano oil, etc.) to be even remotely effective.

So what can you do to prevent annoying colds?

• Wash your hands regularly
• Get enough sleep
• Don't worry, be happy.  If you're not happy, seek help
• Practice healthy stress-management strategies

The Centre for Science in the Public Interest didn't mention probiotics, but there does appear to be some evidence they can help with immunity, so this might be one supplement you could try, especially since they offer so many other benefits.

So save your pennies, look after your physical and mental health as much as possible and forget about all those expensive products making false health claims.

Have a safe and healthy weekend...and don't forget to keep you hands clean, get enough rest and relax!!!

Rekindling Desire (2nd Edition): Book Review

Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me...

Come on, you know that George Michael song???  Or am I just giving away my age...I was a big fan of his as a kid.  In fact, I fantasized about marrying him until my brother smugly informed me that he is gay.  I was very disappointed.

So actually I do want to talk about sex.  I do so every day.  Yep, pretty much.  Because I'm a perv?  No...at least I don't think so.  Because I am a therapist, and it almost always comes up in one way or another with clients.  In particular, with couples facing infertility, a number of challenges around intimacy can emerge.  Often too frequent, timed, high pressure intercourse for the purpose of conceiving, coupled with not conceiving leads couples to associate sex with failure and disappointment.  Men often develop performance anxiety because they need to be able to 'produce' at a specific time.  Women are often so distraught over the infertility their interest in sex wanes significantly.

Other times its a history of sexual abuse that causes difficulties with intimacy for people, or a betrayal or emotional trauma.  It is also not uncommon for me to see individuals with major sexual inhibitions and/or phobias due to a very strict or religious upbringing.  There is no doubt that sex is an area of wellness and health that many, many individuals and couples struggle with.

Thus, I happily agreed to review Rekindling Desire (2nd Edition) by Barry and Emily McCarthy.  I am thrilled to say I was not at all disappointed.  In fact, I think this book is so good, I have already been recommending it to many of my clients.

The book is actually meant for couples as a self-help guide, but it is also extremely informative for counsellors and therapists.  Throughout the book, they highlight the importance for couples of working through sex and intimacy issues together, along with a therapist, but I think the information can even be helpful for individuals not currently in a relationship, struggling with sexual issues. 

I should say that this book is very much geared towards heterosexual couples and individuals and does not offer much for those in same-sex relationships.  Nevertheless, I think there are some truths they discuss that most people can benefit from knowing.

First, any sex or intimacy issue facing a couple is something that should be dealt with as a couple.  No matter what the issue, it is not one person's fault and the solutions should not lie on the shoulders of just one partner.  It has to be addressed as a team.  Blaming your partner will do absolutely nothing to improve things.

I also think this passage is extremely important for individuals in long-term relationships:

Premarital sex is a self-defeating and unrealistic standard of comparison...Do not make premarital sex comparisons.  This poisons marital sexuality...Couple sexuality involves dealing with the whole person and sharing the complexities of your lives, including emotional and sexual intimacy.

Similarly...

The factors that drive pre-marital sex, -- newness, illicitness, risk taking, winning the partner over, romantic love, passion, idealization, and exploring sexual boundaries -- are unstable.  By their very nature, romantic love and passionate sex erode with time.  Ideally, hot sex is replaced by the integration of intimacy, pleasuring, and eroticism.  Yet, too often, sex becomes routine, low quality, and infrequent.  Typically, this occurs even before marriage.
 

The McCarthys address how anger, guilt, anxiety, inhibitions, obsessions and compulsions and shame interfere with sexuality and couple intimacy.  Since it is a guide book, they also give specific strategies for overcoming each of these issues.  In fact, they have a number of exercises for couples to practice in order to achieve certain goals or overcome particular difficulties or challenges.

 

Although the book does touch on how trying to conceive can affect a couple's intimacy, there is very little discussion of the effect of infertility.  They do a better job of addressing in a few places the impact of sexual or emotional trauma on a couple's intimate relationship:

 

It is crucial to accept your sexual past, including negative or traumatic experiences such as child sexual abuse, incest, rape being exhibited to and peeped at, receiving obscene phone calls, dealing with an STI, having an unwanted pregnancy, being sexually humiliated or rejected, having a sexual dysfunction, being sexually harassed, being caught masterbating, or feeling guilt over sexual fantasies.  Negative sexual experiences are almost universal phenomena for both females and males.  Sadly, it is normal to have negative sexual experiences -- whether as a child, adolescent, young adult, or adult.  You can accept these experiences and integrate them into your sexual self-esteem.  You are a survivor, not a victim.  Feeling controlled by guild because of past trauma cheats you of your sexual self-acceptance and enjoyment of couple sexuality.

Unfortunately, they  don't give tips on how to deal with these traumas, but in any case, I would recommend seeking professional help to do so.

I also like that the McCarthys challenge traditional gender stereotypes related to sexuality, arguing that men are socialized to associate sexual prowess with masculinity while women are socialized to value feelings and emotional attachments, and that these differences are not based on genetic or hormonal differences.  Both genders, they assert, are capable of desire, pleasure, eroticism and satisfaction, as well as empathy, closeness, sadness and anger.

And I am sure you are wondering what they have to say about extramarital affairs?  Well, first, affairs, of course, threaten marital bonds.  They suggest that should it occur, the following steps should be taken to repair the bond:

1. Deal with meaning of the affair
2. Attempt to rebuild trust bond
3. Develop a new couple sexual style
4. Make a firm commitment not to have another affair
5. Discuss high-risk situations that emerge (opportunity, temptation, etc.) with partner before allowing a potential affair to begin

A couple will most likely have to work with a couple's therapist in order to survive an affair.

The McCarthys also explain why affairs are tempting (they hold the same allure as new relationships) but also discuss how the unrealistic expectations actually set up affairs to becoming unsuccessful relationships (all that newness, illicitness, etc. eventually ends).

I think this is an excellent book to help both individuals and couples address issues with sex and intimacy.  In combination with the help of a counsellor, I think most people looking to improve their relationship with their sexuality or the sexuality in their relationship can benefit by picking up Rekindling Desire.