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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Best and Worst Things My Kids Have Said Recently

Sometimes, I'm not sure which category these go in...

Best:

Little A: "Daddy is a big boy, right mommy?"

Little A: "Oh oh, Catherine?" (hand waving wildly to get teacher's attention during circle time at daycare)
Catherine: "Yes Little A"?
Little A: "My daddy's name is Adam!"

Little A: Anytime she uses the words "porcupine", "pinecone" and "pineapple" interchangeably.

Big A: Pointing to used condom on the sidewalk, "Look mommy, a baloon!"
Me: "Oh that's not a baloon. Never ever touch one of those!"
Big A: "Why mommy, what is it?"
Me: Trying to think of a reasonable lie, but then deciding on truth: "It's a condom".
Big A: "What's a condom?"
Me: "Ah, it's what mommies and daddies use when they want to make love but not babies". Holding my breath and waiting for the next question...
Big A: "Oh" (In this case it's what she didn't say/ask that was good!)

Worst:

Little A: Pulling down my pants in the grocery store, "Mommy, your bum is stinky, you made a poo...I need to change your diaper!"

Big A: "Mommy, when are you going to start making some money?"
Me: Getting defensive, "Why are you asking me that?"
Big A: "Because you never have any."

Big A: "What's this t.v. show?"
Me: "Oh, that's Tom and Jerry...I used to watch it when I was a little girl!"
Big A: "Ohhh, it must be really old!"

Little A: "Mommy, when I get bigger, I no want to sleep, I don't like sleeping." CRAP, we're in for it!

Little A: "Mommy, when I get bigger, I want to drive a car". CRAP, we're really in for it!