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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Be Proactive

Inspite of all my positive self-talk, I am still feeling increasingly disheartened and pessimistic about my professional life. I passed up several valuable opportunities over the past months, such as applying for a counselling position with Planned Parenthood, because of the Mt Sinai research project, which has still failed to materialize. With no counselling experience yet, I am still very unqualified for my new desired career path. I have so much damn education and so little experience, what a waste of my life...and here I go again with the negative spiral of self-criticism and doubt. Sigh! Many thoughts and ideas have been swirling through my mind in terms of how to improve my situation. My family fitness coaching idea is percolating and I am attending a seminar for small businesses run by the business consultants my friend connected me with. They very much liked my idea and felt they could help me refine my business plan. And yet, like the million of business ideas I have had in the past, I fear this one will fail to come to fruition because of, well my fear of failure I guess. I never have the guts to follow through.

One thing I am following through with for sure is my recent other idea. I am starting a miscarriage/infertility peer support group. Although I do not yet have any formal counselling/therapist designation, there is nothing stopping me from doing this since I am doing it simply as someone who has been through these experiences myself, yet there is also nothing stopping me from adding to my resume in the future that I ran support groups. I feel like I'm stuck in the frustrating position of not having the experience to get the job I want and yet not being able to get the experience because I don't yet have the experience. Like WTF? I just want to help people damnit!!! I know I'll get experience from my practicum for school, but I also know it would be advantageous to have more than that. I would say the majority of other students in my Masters program are already working in the counselling field. Well, it's time for me to take matters into my own hands and direct my fate. So I've designed posters announcing my support group and I'm putting them up all over the neighbourhood. I figure I'll hold the groups in my living room, unless I can possibly convince someone at the JCC to let me borrow some space there for free.

Aside from my career issues, I am still tied up in knots about my children's dental health. Little A refuses to let us brush her teeth. Period. Big A refuses to even try the fluoride rinse the dentist recommended. I now agonize over everything they eat, not from a nutritional perspective, but from a dental health perspective. When Big A was little and fought us brushing, I always thought of asking the daycare for help, but was too afraid (I thought they would see me as too demanding). Finally, this morning I decided to try for Little A. To my surprise, the daycare said if I bring a toothbrush and paste for her, they are happy to give it a try. Just goes to show, no matter how big or small, we really shouldn't let fear get in the way of trying things or getting what we want/need. I must make this my mantra as I work at building my new career...