Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Happy Birthday to Me!

So.  Today is my birthday.  My last birthday before I turn the big 4-0.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that age has become...well, a 'concern'.

It's silly really because I am much happier and more fulfilled than I was in my 20s and the early part of my 30s for sure.  Maybe just as stressed...but definitely more content.

One of the most important things I have learned as I have grown older is the infinite amount of things I still have to learn. 

As Socates said, "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

I believe that really acknowledging this and experiencing this reality has made me more open to taking risks and, well, wiser.  While this seemed frustrating and overwhelming to me as a kid when I first heard this quote, I now see it as exciting.  Every day - even routine days - are an adventure.

I realized yesterday that probably for the first time in my life, I am truly exactly where I want to be.  In my early 20s I spent a lot of time in dead end relationships and a career track that made me miserable.  Much of my late 20s and 30s was in school lacking direction, stuck in the same dreaded career path, and dealing with miscarriage/infertility. 

When I started this blog, I was already blessed with my wonderful husband and children, but had given up my former career path to go back to school YET AGAIN for my 3rd graduate degree to become an infertility counsellor.  It was exciting but scary and somewhat frustrating to be starting over at square one.

The past year since I started my practice has definitely been challenging.  I am not a natural born entrepreneur and I have an even harder time getting into a 'selling/marketing' mentality when I work in a helping profession.  The two seem at odds with one another.  I also don't deal with financial uncertainty very well and there is lots of this when you are self-employed. 

But things with my business have gradually developed and flourished and it struck me recently that I've been so busy with my new career, I haven't been able to fully appreciate just how great things are.  For a long time I never thought I would be able to say I was someone who loves what they do and can be successful at it.  And now here I am!

I have worked hard, but I also owe a lot of people thanks.  All the doctors who refer to me, all the mentors who have given me valuable advise, and, of course, my family (especially Adam) who has supported me 100% in this even though it involved giving up a good salary, going back to school AGAIN for 2 years, and making much less money than I used to make, with no guarantees of how much I will make ever again.  Lucky for me I have a husband who believes my happiness is a priority.

So as much as I hate the added aches and pains (and wrinkles between my eye brows) that come with aging, I have to say that with age has come some degree of spiritual enlightenment, which I think will only continue as I get older and wiser, as well as the attainment of most of my life dreams.  As I have gotten older I have gotten luckier and luckier.

So on my final birthday I am celebrating in my 30s, I express thanks and gratitude.

Oh, and by the way, I still don't have a single grey hair.  Ha!

I'll save you all my diatribe about the horrendous hot, humid weather we're having right now and instead focus on the positive and say that I am grateful it is supposed to end by tomorrow>