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Friday, September 3, 2010

So Here We Are

I didn't cry today when I picked up Big A and she hugged all her daycare teachers goodbye. I didn't even cry when Big A and Little A hugged Sherma goodbye. Yet as I write this I have a lump in my throat and all day I've had a horrible stomachache and I wonder if it is simply because I am overwhelmed with emotion. My first baby is starting school next week! This is quite a milestone. And my other baby starts full-time daycare which, for all intents and purposes is pretty much "toddler school".

Ironically, I was a little sadder about leaving the TAC than I thought I would be. The participants were very sweet and told me how much they had been enjoying my class and they were sorry to see me go. I had to sub an athletic intervals class there for the boss today (something I agreed to do weeks ago), so I guess today was officially my last day. I haven't taught step, which used to be my absolute favorite fitness class to teach, in years. I was reminded today why I used to love it so much. It is exhilerating, cathartic, and fun. And you know what? I'm damn good at it! I think that is the crux of it really. It is a healthy, enjoyable activity that really boosted my self-esteem. I don't see myself as someone who has many skills or talents, but I really excelled at teaching step and for some reason that was really important to me. Years ago I would have told you without a doubt that I would NEVER give it up. And yet I have. I think maybe this is a sign that I've grown up. I'm really an adult now. I was able to put this aside because it doesn't fit in with the needs of my family or my full-time career now. So that's that.