Tuesday, September 14, 2010

And Year 37 Begins

P1: I got a note from Dr. M that she received my amendments to our research proposal to comply with the feedback from the Mount Sinai ethics board but she's been too busy to contribute her part. Understandable. So it may be a while before we can resubmit our proposal. Oh well, we're one step closer at this point.

My birthday party was a success and lots of fun. It made me realize just how seldom Adam and I do adult-only social things. I guess that is partly because we usually go to bed about an hour after the kids do so that doesn't give us much of an opportunity to go to many adult events.

P2: Sunday was a very up and down day. It started great - both girls were in fabulous moods and Big A seemed to really enjoy her first day of Hebrew school at the JCC. We took the girls to our neighbour's Back to School party at the local indoor playground (a favorite location for both girls). As soon as we arrived, they instantly sped off to play in opposite directions and were so hyper one might have thought we'd fed them crack-laced espresso shooters for breakfast. After dragging them out to go home for naps, Little A fell asleep in 2 seconds while Big A had to be negotiated with in order to get her into bed. I hate the nap battle but she STILL can't make it through the day without one.

Unfortunately, after naps, Little A was in a terrible mood. We went to Value Village to buy Big A a new Halloween costume. She wanted a doctor costume but there were none and the minute she saw the Disney, hoop-skirt princess consumes in pink or purple, she wanted to be a princess. Barf! Luckily, I convinced her to go with the fire fighter costume instead, which suits my somewhat feminist sensibilities much better.

We then went to the drug store so I could get more Coppertone sunblock. I also found that my favorite protein bars - Isoflex, which, I kid you not, taste just like a candy bar but are very low in sugar (and high in protein, of course) - were on sale. But the sale price wasn't programmed into the cash so the cashier had to get a manager, etc, etc. To make a long story short, it took a long time and Little A was into everything, eventually finding a big basket of lip glosses which she dragged from the shelf into the middle of the floor and then started flinging them everywhere. Adam took it all away and she started shrieking so while Big A and I paid for the merchandise, Adam had to throw Little A over his shoulder and carry her kicking and screaming to the car. I guess it's unrealistic to think a whole day can go smoothly...

F1 & F2: My Uncle Ed sent me this email about diet and exercise and I thought it was hilarious.

Good Doctor's Advice

Interview With Dr. Chung

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!

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