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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Adjustments

P1: I finally heard from Dr. M at Mount Sinai and we got feedback from the ethics board. I shouldn't be surprised that they want a host of revisions to our proposal -that's pretty standard in this situation, as I found out when trying to get my PhD dissertation research approved by the ethics board at the University of Toronto. Most of the changes were related to wording on our consent form and no big deal. The one thing that worries me, however, is they wanted to know more about my qualifications to perform counselling. Nevertheless, this is specifically why I designed the study so that I am not actually performing formal counselling. I meet the women who have had a pregnancy loss, I offer moral support (i.e. I am sorry for your loss, etc.) and I provide them with a list of resources in the community that they may choose to seek out if they do want emotional support or counselling. In my response, which I worked on diligently this morning, I tried to explain this. I only hope that they accept my explanation and approve the study. It is so key to my future professional success!!!

P2: Big A was a trooper today on her first day of school. Adam and I dropped her off and she hugged us goodbye without a fuss. I can't wait to pick her up and hear how the day went. Little A is not doing as well. When Adam and I dropped her off at the daycare, she immediately went to go play and didn't notice us slip out. But by the time we were at the exit, I could hear her wailing. I called about 2 hours later to find out how she was doing and one of the teachers told me she had been crying on and off the whole time.

Even though I know she will eventually adjust and be absolutely fine, I'm still a mess. I have a stomachache and headache, which I finally realized is because I am clenching my jaw, as I have a tendency to do when I'm stressed (I have to wear a hard, plastic mouthguard at night and I've done extensive damage to my teeth because of this habit).

Our trip to Kingston to visit my folks this weekend was fairly successful. Not nearly much napping happened in the car as we would of liked, but what can you do? The most difficult part of the trip was when we went out for lunch before leaving yesterday and Little A threw a fit at the restaurant. She wanted a glass water glass like we all had, rather than her bottle. When the waitress gave us a paper cup for Little A, she flew into a rage and knocked the cup and all the water onto the floor, making a big mess. At that point she was screaming so loud, my mom had to take her outside to calm her down. Adam was extremely angry and started muttering about how this was not normal behaviour. I had to remind him that this is, in fact, normal TODDLER behaviour. Normal versus abnormal for most aspects of human personality (as I have learned in school) lie on a continuum. Little A may be more towards one end of the continuum in some ways than other kids her age, but she is definitely within the normal range. Of course, that doesn't make it any less frustrating or stressful when she misbehaves. We had a rough ride with Big A from about this age until...well sometimes we still do. I think we are in for possibly an even rougher ride with Little A for the next while. I just keep reminding myself of 3 things: (1) This will end,(2) We are extremely lucky that both girls are healthy and have no developmental problems we have to contend with, and (3)Some of the things that make the girls so challenging to parent (being extremely intelligent, strong willed, etc.) are the characteristics that we want them to have as adults.

F1: While we were in Kingston, my parents made us a delicious steak dinner with all the trimmings. My mom made squash with crystallized ginger in it that was outstanding. I love ginger in all forms AND it is very healthy. Try baking with candied (in syrup) or crystallized ginger. It makes an excellent addition to gingerbread, ginger-molasses cookies, pumpkin pie, fruit crumbles and quick breads. In fact, I'm thinking next time I make my pumpkin pancakes, I'm going to throw some in. When I make gingerbread cake or cookies, I usually use fresh, dried ground, and crystallized ginger. Mmmmm! For cooking, always use fresh, there is absolutely NO substitute.

F2: Speaking of adjustments, I have decided that, in the end, the osteopathy did not significantly help my piriformas syndrome (sciatica). It improved it a bit...but not nearly enought. But I have finally got relief! Two weeks ago, I went for a massage but after I told the therapist about my piriformas syndrome, he asked if he could do acupuncture instead. He used needles that run a current through the muscle. Frankly I'm open to anything so I agreed. To my surprise, I have been pretty much pain free ever since. YAY!!!

3 comments:

  1. Some non-asked for advice - I have read that slipping out when leaving your kids somewhere is not a good idea because then they start to worry that you might leave whenever they turn around. Say goodbye, Mommy's going to go now, and I will pick you up in a few hours. She will probably scream (Timmy does, although he's getting better two months in, on a 2 day/week schedule), but he's stopped by the time I'm out of the building and peek in through the window. Of course it may not work for you, but that's what I thought when I read that you had slipped out. (and I hope you don't mind my suggestion!)

    re the sciatica, you are not the first person I know who's been fixed by acupuncture, it really does seem to work!

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  2. I am very guilty of the "slipping out" with Mallory...I've often wondered if it's worse than dealing with the tears. So far though, she doesn't cry at all when I "slip out" (even after she realizes I'm gone). But there is crying if she sees me leave. Of course this will probably change tomorrow!

    Anyway, I hope Avery adjusts quickly. I know that "pit in the stomach" feeling well, we've gone through this separation difficulty off and on with both girls (oh - I also clench my jaw and require a night guard). Hang in there, and stay distracted!

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  3. Nic, you are absolutely right, I've heard slipping out is bad too. It was just too tempting the first day. There hasn't even been the opportunity since then though, because as soon as we get in the building, Little A knows what's about to happen and starts clinging to me. She no longer goes off to play until well after I'm gone and she's stopped crying.

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