Thursday, October 15, 2015
What Really Gets Women Going
I am sure you have heard of the new pill that is being called the "Female Viagra".
As a therapist, I do a whole lot of sex counselling with my clients. Its an issue for couples dealing with infertility and those who are not. In fact, apparently the three top reasons for divorce are: (1) Sex, (2) Parenting, and (3) Money.
As I've mentioned before, the myth is that all men have insatiable libidos and women are cold and disinterested in sex. This is totally untrue! I have counselling so many couples where it is the woman who has a greater sex drive than the man. I have also discussed previously on this blog that men often experience andropause, physical and emotional changes akin to those women experience during menopause, due to age-related drops in hormones. In addition, some men never have a really high libido.
Low libido due to hormonal changes/aging, however, is not usually the problem for couples, particularly those under the age of 40. Its more often stress, fatigue, resentment, body image and other psycho-social reasons. This is why this new super pill is not going to be of much use to a lot of people. If you think your partner is being an arse, taking meds to increase your physical desire may do nothing to motivate you to have sex...with your partner, at least!
Interestingly, numerous studies have shown that what is most effective at increasing women's sexual desire for their partner, and both partners' satisfaction with their intimate life is men taking a greater share of responsibility for household chores and parenting duties. Yep, no joke! Just another reason to throw away antiquated notions of gender roles. So you may want to forget the prescription and, instead, sit down with your spouse and divide up a new plan for household management. It could lead to some pretty sexy negotiations!