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Last night I surprised Adam with a little birthday get together with his friends at a pub.

Adam's friends mean so much to him, but like a lot of men, he doesn't reach out to them as much as he'd like to. I knew that he would like nothing more than to see them in a relaxed setting to celebrate his birthday.

Unfortunately, it being a long weekend in Canada, MOST of the people on the invite list had already made plans to be away. Can't fault folks for trying to make the most out of the last long weekend of the summer before Labour day.

What I DO fault people for, however, is not even giving me an RSVP! With the exception of our wedding, every event Adam and I have thrown since we've been together has been plagued with the problem of people failing to respond to the invitation.


Am I the only person who sees that as horribly rude and inconsiderate???

The exception last night was Adam's friend Dave, who lives an hour outside of Toronto and we haven't seen for 2 years since his wedding. He didn't RSVP but showed up, giving both Adam and I a lovely surprise.

I just don't get it. Is it the medium? I always send "Evites" because I figure that makes it easiest for people to respond. How hard is it to take 2 seconds to click a button with your mouse?

Am I wrong? Should I be calling people? Should I be sending invitations in the mail?

Or am I just out of the loop with modern social customs and it is now completely acceptable to not respond to a party invitation?

If you have any insights on this, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!


  1. My 2c? Since this bothers you so much, be a little more proactive. A week or so before the party, reach out to people who haven't responded. Just a quick phone call to say, hey, haven't heard from you would love it if you could come but if not just let me know so I can plan. No you shouldn't have to - but with this coming up time after time, maybe you just need to try something different.

    I would liken this to one of my issues with DH - he rarely sees messes that need to be cleaned up. So I end up doing it an fuming. Or I ask him to, and then fume about the fact that i have to ask. But really, I have found that I just need to accept that he is never going to do things like this without prodding, get over my anger about that, and just ask.


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