Why did I name this blog "Tales of a Thirty Something Nothing"?
When I began this blog, I was having great existential angst and emotional turmoil about the state of my professional life. At the age of 35, after obtaining a PhD, I was stuck in a career that I hated and had ended up in by default.
I had always wanted to do counselling, but because of various decisions I made years ago, my path led me in a different direction. For a very long time I simply believed it was too late to turn back. I felt stuck.
When I finally decided that I could not endure a lifetime of unfulfilling work and devised a plan to re-train as a psychotherapist, I was excited. But giving up a good salary to return to school when I was in my mid 30s and had two children to support made me feel very uncomfortable. I couldn't get beyond my regrets. If only I had made different (better) choices in the past. I could already be well ensconsed in a successful and lucrative counselling career instead of forking out thousands of dollars for yet another graduate degree and just beginning my journey towards my goal.
Well, as a friend of mine used to say, "woulda, shoulda, coulda." After all, regret is so useless. You can't change the past, so why sweat it?
I am now officially done my course work. All I have left for my Masters of Counselling Psychology is my practicum and major case study. I have completed the certificate in infertility counselling.
Friday was the first time I saw a client - I co-counselled with a more experienced therapist at the general therapy clinic where I am doing one of my placements.
I know it was just the first, but I am telling you it was enough to know that THIS IS WHAT I WAS MEANT TO DO! It was wonderful, I loved it. I felt like I was going to burst when the session was over. I am very excited to be working with this person and blessed to finally have the opportunity to be doing something that is meaningful to me. What is more rewarding than helping others?
Juggling two placements for my practicum this summer is going to be busy and challenging, but I have never been more excited for an experience.
I finally feel like someone.