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Friday, February 5, 2010

I'm 35 and what am I? Besides a mom...

Well, I've started this blog because I feel like I'm at quite a crossroads in my life, and while this feels somewhat narcissistic, my husband thought it would be therapeutic for me. I'm 35, and I'm exactly where I'd hoped to be personally (wonderful, loving husband, 2 adorable daughters, great friends and family and a cosy house) and very far from where I'd hoped to be professionally, at this age.

I guess that's not so unusual these days, but it feels pretty pathetic seeing as I already have a BA, MA, and PhD under my belt, and after still accomplishing nothing, career-wise, I have returned to school yet again - this time, to pursue a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology, so I can eventually begin a psychotherapy practice. My previous jobs have all been in research. Most recently, I was associate vice president of a market research company, leading the health research practice. Sounds impressive, but really was just a nothing, middle-management position.

What's even more pathetic is that I worked for this company after my MA (sociology)and was so miserable, made the decision to return for my PhD to try and escape the industry and open up other options. But after I completed my PhD, I worked at the university for a year and then left to have my first child. While on mat leave, I discovered that I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do and there was not really a high demand for PhDs in Exercise Science. I needed an income to pay for child care (one thing I DID know was that I didn't want to be a stay-at-home mom...that job is way too hard!) and employment so I could get another maternity leave with my next (and last) child. So I went back to the same company in the same industry I was in BEFORE I did my PhD. Hmm, all that time and effort spent on a doctoral degree...for what reason?? Once again, I found myself utterly miserable and realized I had to make a change because there was no way I could spend the next 30 years of my life hating my professional life.

I had originally wanted to go into counselling, but got sidetracked by life. After having a miscarriage before my first daughter was conceived, I became aware of the lack of resources and support for women in the community who experience this traumatic event. This inspired my new career aspirations. I want to counsel women who experience miscarriage loss and/or infertility. This blog will document my journey to, finally, for the first time in my life, pursue a career that I am passionate about while trying to survive parenthood of two young children. I am sure there are a lot of you out there who can relate...