Skip to main content

In Her Own Sweet Time: Book Review

28757161
 
It's Friday, but this one means the end of March Break and back to rushed stressful mornings with the kids Monday. Ah well, at least we have a quiet weekend with no plans to look forward to. 

I have a book review for you this morning!

Not sure if its a coincidence or not, but in the same week that I received the request to review Dear Thing, I got one to review this book, In Her Own Sweet Time, which also focuses on my professional work in infertility.

This is not a novel, however, but both a memoir, as well as an informative compilation of qualitative and quantitative research about age-related infertility and the choice more and more women are making now to become single parents by choice.

Her experience mirrors that of many of my clients.  She simply has not found a partner to settle down with in a committed relationship, and becomes aware of her biological clock.  She ends of freezing some eggs, but then later on opts to conceive via insemination with donor sperm and now has a son.

I have lots of clients that freeze their eggs, but even more who opt to conceive with a sperm donor.  Unfortunately, many of them wait until their chances of conceiving are extremely low, because of their age.

In case you don't know, it is pretty tough for women over 40 to get pregnant.  The thing is, I actually think calling women who chose the donor sperm route as Single Parents by Choice is, for many, rather inaccurate.  Sure, I have had women come in, and are actually excited to do it, some are even quite young, still in their early 30s, but the vast majority are doing it because they feel they have NO OTHER CHOICE.  I have had many women who get hysterical as we discuss it because its actually not what they really want - what they want is to have found a life partner, someone to start a family with - before time started running out.  They are often scared and heartbroken.

Working with women in this situation has taught me that:

(1) I am pretty damn lucky to have met Adam, and met him when I was young...in fact I was just 25 and he was 23...we were practically still kids!! I chalk it up to chance and luck, frankly.
(2) All this BS in the media accusing women of delaying childbearing for their careers is way off base.  Most of these women have not found a partner...or found one and it didn't work out, or the partner decided he didn't want kids.

I find the current state of our society very concerning, and its not because of what women are doing.  Its because of men.  At least in big cities, there is very much a culture among male professionals to work hard and play hard, and they are the ones that are often delaying settling down and starting a family...by choice!  Especially with Internet dating, they just want to play the field until they are getting towards their late 30s or 40s...and then want to find a much younger woman!  I worry for my daughters and, to be honest, I will be advising them to freeze their eggs if they aren't settled down by their mid 30s.

In the book, Lehmann-Haupt describes her own experiences with dating and trying to find a mate, and interviews many other women who have taken alternative paths to starting a family.  She has also spoken to infertility specialists, and done her homework in terms of the statistics and success rates for various assisted reproductive technologies.

I was very relieved to get to the end of the book and discover, she was, in fact, successful in having her own child.  I think this book is very useful and informative for any woman with concerns about her fertility who is considering her options.  In fact, I will be recommending this book to my clients considering egg freezing and/or using a sperm donor.

Disclosure: I was sent this book by the publisher, but all the opinions on this blog are my own.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Blackfly Coolers: Product Review

Summer is over! Well, at least if you're a student. Officially it doesn't end for a few weeks, and it certainly still feels like summer. Yeah, I hate it. This f*cking hot, humid weather needs to end NOW! We made the most of our last weekend of the summer with our annual trip to the CNE on Friday, with a crowd of friends. It wasn't unbearably lot, thank goodness, and the girls and their friends had a blast on the rides.  Saturday I had to work, and Sunday was errand day. Monday we took the girls berry/apple/pear picking but didn't last long due to the heat. I organized the house to prepare for the construction workers starting back up yesterday, while Adam took the girls for a swim in our neighbourhood pool.

Yesterday was the first day of school. Grade 2 and Grade 5. Yep, the girls are growing up.  We are fortunate that the girls don't have much anxiety about school, they are so much more confident than I ever was as a kid! But now, in the midst of our reno chaos, …

Live Clean

I have been committed to living a healthy life through nutrition and fitness for over 20 years now.

It took me a lot longer to pay attention to what I was cleaning the house with and what I was putting ON my body as opposed to IN it.

When I got pregnant with Big A I started reading about the toxins in a lot of commercial cleaning products and switched to the all-natural, eco-friendly stuff. When I became pregnant with Little A, I switched to all-natural, eco-friendly personal care products.

I am all for being environmentally friendly for the good of the planet, but to be honest, what really motivates me to make these types of changes is concern for my family's health.

You may remember I mentioned giving up my favorite perfume a while back because it apparently is full of nasty chemicals. I switched to the "Red Tea" scent made my Roots, which is supposed to be somewhat "natural". This was only after a number of trial and errors. I first found a woman in …

Panang Curry

When we go out for Thai food, one of my favorite things to order is the panang curry. But there is no doubt when this dish is made in a restaurant, it packs a hefty wallop of fat, sodium and calories.

My version is lightened up, but still rich and flavourful and it is super simple to make.

Traditionally, panang curry is made with either beef or chicken, but I made it vegetarian, using dried seiten (wheat gluten) I got at T&T a few weeks ago. If you are not sensitive to gluten, this is a great source of vegetarian protein. If you cannot find it dried, you can get it prepared at most health food stores. Alternatively, you can use tofu, or the more traditional chicken or beef options.

This dish also doesn't usually have much vegetable matter in it, but I love how yummy veggies taste when simmered in this sauce, and it makes this a healthy one-pot meal. Use whatever veggies you prefer or have on hand.

Protein of choice (2 cups seiten or 1 lb organic tofu, boneless skinless ch…