Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How Did I Get Here?

P1: One of my friends forwarded me a job ad that I thought was very interesting. The position is a Mind-Body Program Coordinator for the North JCC (unfortunately not the downtown one where Adam and I teach fitness). What was particularly interesting to me about the position, is that the ad mentioned a preference for someone with an MSW (Masters of Social Work), and some of necessary skills are: grant and report writing, data analysis and program management, all things that I have. The role is essentially to make connections between the JCC fitness and wellness program and other wellness organizations in the community in an attempt to make the program more accessible to all members of the Toronto Jewish community (I'm assuming, in particular, the disadvantaged ones). I didn't think I had a chance since I don't have an MSW and I'm not even half way through my program, but I decided to apply anyways. And what do you know? I have an interview for August 18th! It's a part-time job, which is great, because I could definitely not take on anything full-time. But the question is, can I fit in a part-time job? I guess I don't really need to decide at this point because (a) they haven't offered me the job yet, and (b) I don't know enough to know if I want the job. But it sounds like a position that would use my various skills and it would be really nice to have some income!

P2: Yesterday, being a Monday, I was home with Little A all day. Lucky for me, Little A was in a delightful mood. Her teeth must have been feeling better because she was fabulous from the moment she woke up until the moment she went to bed. I took her to the JCC so I could do a pilates class in the morning and she was great at the babysitting service (wouldn't come out of her stroller, but at least let the woman read her tons of stories and didn't cry). Then she had a nap and when she woke up we played at home for several hours until we had to pick up Big A from daycare to take her to her swim lesson. Little A ate well, played happily with me and was full of hugs and kisses. She made me do "this little piggy" with her toes about 20 times and squealed with glee every time when I got to the "whee whee whee" part. It was wonderful. But, boy, she is like the Tazmanian Devil! We were in the bathroom for 2 minutes so I could pee and during that time she managed to shred toilet paper, pull tissue from the box, pull out the toilet plunger, dump the garbage can and knock things of the counter. Adam and I had to take turns chasing her around the community centre so she didn't kill herself while Big A had her swim lesson. She doesn't sit still for a second!

Today is another story. She woke up grumpy and clingy. She howled and became hysterical if I put her down so I somehow made Big A a cheese omelet and toast with honey while holding Little A in one arm and had to pee with her sitting on my lap. I guessed it was her teeth so I asked her if she wanted some medicine, holding up the bottle of Tempra, and she nodded her head vigorously. The medication seemed to help a bit. Sherma took her out this morning and called me half an hour later to say she passed out in the stroller. She is definitely having teething issues again. I hope this ends soon, it makes her truly miserable.

I have become aware of the fact that I have become the kind of parent I never wanted to be. Just like my parents. I used to wish that my parents were more laid-back when I was a kid, instead of so impatient and task-oriented. I may be more familiar with popular culture and wear hipper clothing, but I am just like they were in other ways. I rarely yell (unlike my father who used to explode at the slightest provocation), but I am always snapping or speaking in a frustrated, impatient or exasperated tone of voice. I remember wishing my mom would give me more undivided attention instead of being distracted by "grown-up" stuff, but that's how it is with me now. Big A is always trying to get my attention to watch how high she can jump or to look at the funny face she can make and I'm always saying, "yeah, yeah, great" while I try to: do the dishes, write the shopping list, read the paper or cook dinner. How did I become this person? Why am I always in such a rush? I guess the only thing I can say is that I am at least aware of it and wanting to change it. I am currently working with my psychologist using CBT to learn how to "smell the roses" and not be so obsessed with being productive. So maybe there is hope for me?

F1: I have decided to attempt a "cleanse" diet next week. I never thought I would do such a thing as the thought has always horrified me. First off, there is no evidence that we need cleanses, our body is designed to get rid of toxins, and secondly, there is no way even for one day I could give up starchy carbs or live on liquids. But this is a self-designed special kind of cleanse. I am increasingly bothered by the short-comings of my diet which is primarily too much sodium. I like my food highly flavoured, so either very sweet, salty, sour and/or spicy. But we all know that salty is no good. I feel great and my energy levels are great, but I do often get bloated and have digestive issues. So I'm wondering if cutting down on sodium will help. A lot of the sodium comes from my favorite condiments (dijon mustard, soy sauce and fish sauce) and the more processed items in my diet like the veggie meats, smoked turkey breast, pre-sliced grilled chicken breasts (to throw into wraps and stir-fries in a jiffy) and bottled low-fat salad dressings. But even my fat-free, sugar-free yogurt has sodium as does all of the whole grain breads, wraps and pitas we buy. So I am vowing to go for a week (well, Monday breakfast to Friday lunch anyways...I need more freedom on the weekend!), with a low-sodium diet, eating whole foods and nothing highly processed. I'm also going to avoid meat and cheese. I'm not really looking forward to it, but I'm excited for the challenge in a way. Stay tuned for my meal plan. I'm going to have to use lots of garlic, lemon juice, etc., to satisfy my taste buds!!!

F2: Today I managed to do 10 chin-ups in one set! Even Adam was impressed. So now twice a week I am doing 60-70 chin-ups, broken down into sets, but today was the first time I actually could do 10 repetitions in one set without taking a break!

Exercise of the week:

Calf Raises

Stand against a wall holding dumbells (or soup cans or whatever) in each hand. Lift your heels off the floor and then push up as high as you can go onto the balls of your feet. Lift and lower, without letting your heels come all the way down to the floor. Do at least 2 sets of 15 repetitions.

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