Please forgive this rant, but I gotta get it out.
Maybe its because I'm older, maybe its because I am the mother of two girls, but more and more, I feel like the feminist movement has been backsliding lately.
Don't get me wrong, there have been many positive changes, particularly in terms of opportunities for women (Ontario just elected our first female, gay premier after all!), but there is really still a long way to go.
In particular, violence against women and misogyny are still rampant, and compared to men, we are still seen as objects for others to admire. And frankly, I think we women tolerate all this far too much.
I want to mention one thing that really irks me...maybe its not such a big deal, but its a pet peeve of mine: I hate being called a lady!
How do you address your male friends? As gentlemen? Guys? Dudes? And how about your female friends? As ladies? Folks? Women? Personally, when addressing people informally, regardless of their gender, I use the term guys. While guy is often thought to refer to a man, apparently it can also be used as an informal way to address someone of any gender.
I often find that people still refer to a group of women as
ladies. It’s always made me cringe. I grew up in a household with a feminist
mother and I don’t remember the term ever being used. In fact, by the time my older brother was 14,
I recall him referring to his classmates, as well as any older female, as women.
To me, ladies just seems like an antiquated term. It makes me think of the word ‘ladylike’
which has some very outdated and sexist connotations. Wondering if there was any basis to my
assumptions, I looked up the definition.
1. A
well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior.
2.
a. A
woman regarded as proper and virtuous.
b. A
well-behaved young girl.
3. A
woman who is the head of a household.
4. A
woman, especially when spoken of or to in a polite way.
5.
a. A
woman to whom a man is romantically attached.
b. Informal
A wife.
6. Lady
Chiefly British A general feminine title of nobility and other rank,
specifically:
a. Used
as the title for the wife or widow of a knight or baronet.
b. Used
as a form of address for a marchioness, countess, viscountess, baroness, or
baronetess.
c. Used
as a form of address for the wife or widow of a baron.
d. Used
as a courtesy title for the daughter of a duke, a marquis, or an earl.
e. Used
as a courtesy title for the wife of a younger son of a duke or marquis.
7. Lady
The Virgin Mary. Usually used with Our.
8. Slang
Cocaine.
usage: In the meanings “refined, polite woman” and
“woman of high social position” the noun lady is the parallel of gentleman.
As forms of address, both nouns are used in the plural (Ladies and
gentlemen, thank you for your cooperation), but only lady occurs in the singular.
Except in chivalrous, literary, humorous or similar contexts (Lady, spurn me
not), this singular is now usu. perceived as rude or at least insensitive: Where
do you want the new air conditioner, lady? Other uses that are commonly disliked
include lady in compounds
or phrases referring to occupation or position (cleaning lady; forelady;
saleslady) and as a modifier (lady artist; lady doctor).
Increasingly, sex-neutral terms replace lady (cleaner; supervisor;
salesperson or salesclerk). When it is relevant to specify the sex
of the performer or practitioner, woman rather than lady is used, the parallel
term being man, or male and female are used as modifiers: I
need a saleswoman; Male doctors outnumber female doctors on the hospital staff
by three to one.
I much prefer the term woman, but decided to see just what
the official meaning is.
1. An
adult female human.
2. Women
considered as a group; womankind: "Woman feels the invidious
distinctions of sex exactly as the black man does those of color" (Elizabeth
Cady Stanton).
3. An
adult female human belonging to a specified occupation, group, nationality, or
other category. Often used in combination: an Englishwoman; congresswoman; a
saleswoman.
4. Feminine
quality or aspect; womanliness.
5. A
female servant or subordinate.
6. Informal
a. A
wife.
b. A
female lover or sweetheart.
usage: Although
formerly woman was
sometimes regarded as demeaning and lady was the term of courtesy,
woman is the designation
preferred by most modern female adults: League of Women Voters; American
Association of University Women. woman is the standard
parallel to man. When
modifying a plural noun, woman,
like man, becomes plural: women
athletes; women students. The use of lady as a term of courtesy has
diminished somewhat in recent years, although it still survives in a few set
phrases (ladies' room; Ladies' Day). lady is also used, but
decreasingly, as a term of reference for women engaged in occupations
considered by some to be menial or routine: cleaning lady; saleslady.
Okay, so not all of it is ideal…female
servant or subordinate? But as you can
see in the usage section, MOST MODERN FEMALE ADULTS PREFER THE TERM. Ladies just evokes images of the restrictive
gender norms from the Victorian era. So
why do so many people still use the term ladies? I find it especially puzzling that women
still use the term to address other women?
Lady makes me think of misogynistic rappers
and cheesy waiters at old-school restaurants with red and white checked
tablecloths. It makes me think of prissy, judgemental women
with small, dainty hands who wear clean white gloves and carry handbags. Women who don’t talk about sex or bodily functions
and never challenge authority. A 'lady' is
demure and defers to her husband’s needs.
A lady – if she doesn’t have hired help – is diligent about
housekeeping.
That is not AT ALL me!
Thank you!
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